


1000 Years Of Solitude

by creatureofhobbit



Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 20:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3461015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creatureofhobbit/pseuds/creatureofhobbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took a thousand years for Kol to truly feel part of his family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1000 Years Of Solitude

He’d listened to Niklaus going on and on about how their mother had suppressed the wolf half of him, and Kol had itched to take the white oak stake and plunge it into his chest. Rebekah too, every time she went on about how she just wanted the chance at a normal life, marriage and children, first with that Alexander bore and then with countless nameless others whose names it was pointless to learn anyway since they were never going to be around for very long before Niklaus snapped their necks.

To hear them talk, you would have thought that they were the only ones to have had their choices taken away from them by their mother. Niklaus and his wolf half, Rebekah and her mortal life – neither of them, nor Elijah nor Finn, had ever embraced their magic in the way that Kol had. In the first few weeks, before he truly understood what had happened to him, Kol would try to perform his magic again, frustration building inside him more and more with every failed attempt. When his siblings had tried saying that it had not mattered to them because they had never achieved anything with magic anyway, Kol had snapped “But I did. It was something that was mine.”

It was especially difficult to hear this coming from Niklaus. Elijah and Rebekah would tell him that he was wrong to blame himself for Henrik’s death which had led to Esther deciding that they needed to become immortal. However, while he went through the motions of agreement, Kol found it hard to agree with them. If Niklaus had not taken Henrik to see the wolves in the first instance, none of this would ever have happened. Kol would still have his youngest brother, still have the love of his parents rather than them seeing him as an abomination, and if he still had his magic, he would also still have his sense of identity.

He had to do something to recapture that sense of who Kol Mikaelson truly was. So he left his siblings, not that they would have cared. Always and Forever – the words left a nasty taste in Kol’s mouth. He knew that they only applied to Niklaus, Elijah and Rebekah anyway. He would travel alone, seek out witch communities in the hope that one of them would be able to find some means of restoring his magic to him.

“That will not happen, Kol,” Finn had tried to warn him. “If there had been any way of retaining who we were, our mother would have done it. The fact that she could not means that no other witch will be able to do so either. Your magic has gone, and you will remain this abomination.”

But Kol chose to ignore his brother, not sharing his blind faith in their mother and her powers. There had to be someone out there who would help him return to the man he had been before. And he travelled the world far and wide, seeking out any witches he could find, yet inevitably becoming disappointed when none could help him regain his magic. 

When he slaughtered and turned people he encountered indiscriminately, that was his way of attempting to recapture the adrenaline rush he had always felt when his magic was successful. When Kol massacred the witches who had been unable to help him, it was partly that, but partly his means of venting his frustration at the fact that they had the life he could have had, that they were unable to return his previous powers to him.

His family heard tales of him, of course, and Elijah and Finn lost no time in delivering censures to him when they met again in Italy in 1114. Niklaus, meanwhile, would lecture him on whether or not he understood that his actions would bring their father to them. Kol thought that it was a joke for them to lecture him, considering that a) Niklaus’s own doings were also talked of everywhere he went, b) Rebekah’s relationship with a vampire hunter had also led to the daggering of them all, and c) it was purely because of Niklaus that Mikael was seeking them out at all, and he was less likely to come after Kol alone. 

Elijah had said himself that he had fears for Niklaus and Rebekah who were slowly losing their humanity; they were no better than him. Yet it was Kol who was daggered (although Niklaus had pointed out that Finn had never been undaggered since 1114 and then said that if either of their other siblings pissed him off to the same extent he would have no hesitation in daggering them too. Kol had not believed this until he woke from one daggering to be told that it had actually happened), Kol who was blamed every time it looked like Mikael was about to find them, Kol who was persistently made to feel like the outsider in his own family. 

And it made matters worse when he first met Marcellus Girard. Who was this boy, this upstart who came from nowhere and was now being treated more like family than Kol himself? Elijah had said to Kol as he daggered him that Niklaus needed Marcellus, and Kol had already begun to sense that for himself. Who needed Kol? Niklaus may have thought he did when Marcellus began spending time with Elijah, but now Kol understood that he was surplus to requirements in his own family. The thought of taking away all the pleasure Niklaus and Elijah derived from their protégé by turning him into a vampire before they were ready for that to happen gave him that rush of adrenaline he had sought for so long. If he could not be accepted by his family himself, he would do what he could to ensure that Marcellus did not take his place.

He pretended to be on good terms with his family once they had undaggered him, but all along he was biding his time until he could get his hands on the paragon diamond and use it to subdue Niklaus once and for all. When Rebekah agreed to help him, Kol began to wonder if his luck was about to turn. But he should have known better than to trust her; it would be Niklaus every time for her, and Kol the outcast in their family once more.

***** 

Kol had never thought that once he was given the chance to be a witch once more, he would ever miss being a vampire. But he was now forced to admit to himself that there were aspects he would miss, namely his immortality and ability to recover from his injuries. On the other hand, now that his magic powers were returned to him, Kol felt himself and alive again in a way he hadn’t done in a thousand years.

It had amused him initially when Niklaus and Elijah had not realised who he was; yet their reaction on discovering his true identity had reminded Kol once more of all the years he had felt rejected by them and that he could never truly feel part of their family. It gave him great pleasure to plot his revenge by putting Rebekah into another body unknown to the rest of his siblings, to think of daggering Niklaus just as Niklaus had daggered him. Yes, Niklaus had spoken of including him in their Always and Forever pact, but Kol had not allowed himself to believe that it was anything but words. Not one of them had ever shown that they cared by their actions.

Until the last days, when Finn had hexed him and Niklaus, Elijah and Rebekah were all with him in his final moments, a family at last. Kol didn’t know whether Rebekah would be successful in resurrecting him or not, but he knew that he was part of the family at last, that she and their brothers would try, and that if they succeeded, he would be part of their family for however much longer he lived. He could go in peace knowing that he had finally been accepted as a Mikaelson.


End file.
